I feel him look through my eyes when I catch a glance of myself in the mirror.
The skin he touched with his tainted hands has turned black and rotten.
I only know the pain he delivered, the new me it created.
Given to me in a bow. A gift.
He didn’t even know the forty-five-second interaction would loom over me.
I have thought it over millions of times;
What I could've done, what I should’ve.
I wish I could run away.
More so, I wish he would run away; leave my town.
I have a life here, people I know, and friends who helped rebuild the torn cardboard puzzle pieces he left me with. But instead, I see him.
My heart pounds and I look to my Mom to hide between her legs, but she's not there.
How come it feels as if no one was there to save me, but everyone watched?
Everyone allowed it to happen.
How did no one see the distress I was in?
Did I hide it well between the palms of his hands?
Did I misremember the night between the booze and agony?
How come I’m left to feel the hurt he dealt?
Why did he take it from me?
It always hits me when I can’t stand to remember it.
There's no breaking free from the mouse trap he put me in;
he’s endlessly setting the spring in my mind,
further crushing my bones,
long after he's killed me.
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Joelle Brandts is a junior in the WAVE pathway who enjoys watching Gilmore Girls and thrifting.
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